A Lighter Me

Due to Holiday Clubs in Kibera, this week's blog isn't particularly related to our preparations for the healing ministry. But I wanted to blog something that I feel was significant for me that I experienced last night.

The title of my blog - a lighter me - is not a reference to my weekly fast, although that may be a side effect, I don't know. However, last night I realised I was struggling to let go of an issue that had really been troubling me, and was starting to eat away at me. The theme of yesterday's service in church was 'surrender', and I realised I needed to surrender this issue to God, but was not sure how to achieve that. It's not that I don't understand the concept of surrender, and leaving things with Christ, it's just that I find it's all too easy to say the words, earnestly meaning them, and then as I finish my prayer to unintentionally pick the things up again and continue on, no lighter than before! So I was thinking and praying about this last night, and I found myself in Psalm 143, which is another cry for help from David when he's in trouble. I was struck by verse 5 in particular, when David says "I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done". It struck me that if I could bring my issues before Christ, then think about the times in my life when He's been with me, helping me, guiding me etc, maybe that would help me to focus on just how capable He is of sorting out my issues, and so enable me to finish my prayer, and turn away, without picking them back up again.

So, did it work? Yes it did. I was able to leave what had really been nagging at my mind, and increasing my stress levels, completely with God. I slept peacefully. Even today, when I've thought again about the issue, it's with a lightness of spirit. It's almost as if, even if I wanted to, I couldn't now pick up that issue and shoulder the burden of it myself again. I've truly been able to hand it over, and it's not my concern, or mine to deal with any more.

And all because I took my cue from David, and when in trouble I remembered the times God had been faithful to me, and in that spirit I handed over my present concerns and walked away without picking them up again.

So I am a lighter me - praise God!