Due to Holiday Clubs in Kibera, this week's blog isn't particularly related to our preparations for the healing ministry. But I wanted to blog something that I feel was significant for me that I experienced last night.
The title of my blog - a lighter me - is not a reference to my weekly fast, although that may be a side effect, I don't know. However, last night I realised I was struggling to let go of an issue that had really been troubling me, and was starting to eat away at me. The theme of yesterday's service in church was 'surrender', and I realised I needed to surrender this issue to God, but was not sure how to achieve that. It's not that I don't understand the concept of surrender, and leaving things with Christ, it's just that I find it's all too easy to say the words, earnestly meaning them, and then as I finish my prayer to unintentionally pick the things up again and continue on, no lighter than before! So I was thinking and praying about this last night, and I found myself in Psalm 143, which is another cry for help from David when he's in trouble. I was struck by verse 5 in particular, when David says "I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done". It struck me that if I could bring my issues before Christ, then think about the times in my life when He's been with me, helping me, guiding me etc, maybe that would help me to focus on just how capable He is of sorting out my issues, and so enable me to finish my prayer, and turn away, without picking them back up again.
So, did it work? Yes it did. I was able to leave what had really been nagging at my mind, and increasing my stress levels, completely with God. I slept peacefully. Even today, when I've thought again about the issue, it's with a lightness of spirit. It's almost as if, even if I wanted to, I couldn't now pick up that issue and shoulder the burden of it myself again. I've truly been able to hand it over, and it's not my concern, or mine to deal with any more.
And all because I took my cue from David, and when in trouble I remembered the times God had been faithful to me, and in that spirit I handed over my present concerns and walked away without picking them up again.
So I am a lighter me - praise God!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Team formation
Exciting day! We now have a team of local Kibera pastors, who all seem to be enthusiastic to work together for God's glory. They are Pastors Shadrack, Patrick, Alex, Jane and Justus.
Because of schools finishing this week, and the holiday clubs running for the next two weeks, we won't get together again until Jan 4th, but they are all very keen, and we finished today with a great time of prayer for each other. They will all spend time during the next few weeks praying and preparing themselves for this new ministry.
Some of them will struggle with the Healing on the Streets (HotS) model I'm sure. Some will naturally want to preach, or to pray in ways that don't fit the model. But we'll do some training with them, and some practicing, and then it'll be time for the real thing.
HotS is a very gentle form of healing ministry, and certainly focuses everything on God. So rather than praying long forceful and loud prayers for people, it's more about simply inviting the Holy Spirit to come, and gently but firmly commanding any sickness to go, in Jesus' name. In other words, it's not a naturally Kenyan way of praying!
All the pastors agreed that it would be better to start without any wazungus (white people) so that God and not us will be what attracts people to come. So that means our training on 4th Jan will need to be thorough. Maybe after some time we'll be able to join in too, but not to start with. We'll also try to get hold of a 'Why Jesus' pamphlet equivalent in Kiswahili that we can give to people who've received prayer, and although that's a part of the HotS model, it was suggested by one of the pastors today before I'd had a chance to say it.
Many of them will be fasting for the whole week of Jan 4th. As for me, I don't know - I definitely want to continue the daily fast once per week that I'm doing now, and I'll probably try and extend it that week. It won't be a bad idea after the excesses of Christmas anyway!
Although my fast will continue, these blogs may be erratic over the next few weeks. But stay with me for what I'm sure is going to be an exciting 2010!
Because of schools finishing this week, and the holiday clubs running for the next two weeks, we won't get together again until Jan 4th, but they are all very keen, and we finished today with a great time of prayer for each other. They will all spend time during the next few weeks praying and preparing themselves for this new ministry.
Some of them will struggle with the Healing on the Streets (HotS) model I'm sure. Some will naturally want to preach, or to pray in ways that don't fit the model. But we'll do some training with them, and some practicing, and then it'll be time for the real thing.
HotS is a very gentle form of healing ministry, and certainly focuses everything on God. So rather than praying long forceful and loud prayers for people, it's more about simply inviting the Holy Spirit to come, and gently but firmly commanding any sickness to go, in Jesus' name. In other words, it's not a naturally Kenyan way of praying!
All the pastors agreed that it would be better to start without any wazungus (white people) so that God and not us will be what attracts people to come. So that means our training on 4th Jan will need to be thorough. Maybe after some time we'll be able to join in too, but not to start with. We'll also try to get hold of a 'Why Jesus' pamphlet equivalent in Kiswahili that we can give to people who've received prayer, and although that's a part of the HotS model, it was suggested by one of the pastors today before I'd had a chance to say it.
Many of them will be fasting for the whole week of Jan 4th. As for me, I don't know - I definitely want to continue the daily fast once per week that I'm doing now, and I'll probably try and extend it that week. It won't be a bad idea after the excesses of Christmas anyway!
Although my fast will continue, these blogs may be erratic over the next few weeks. But stay with me for what I'm sure is going to be an exciting 2010!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Hope in the lament
Lamentations. I suppose the title gives it away really - there's not much optimism in there.
However, I like the first half of chapter 3, and can relate to the man of verse 1. He catalogues all the horrors that have happened to Jerusalem, and then in verses 21 - 24 stands on the hope there is in God's faithfullness.
That's where I am. I have witnessed, and continue to witness, the despair and depravation in Kibera, YET I'm standing in faith expecting that God will show mercy and bring healing and hope to the people of this place.
And I'm not standing alone. We now have a small group of pastors joining us today for the first time, all desiring to see God move in power here in Kibera. Today I've got man flu, so I haven't been able to physically join with them, but I'm there in spirit, and it's exciting to know that others are catching the vision.
Next week we will be joining hands together as we continue to break down the strongholds of Satan in Kibera.
I'm glad I'm on the side that's already won!
However, I like the first half of chapter 3, and can relate to the man of verse 1. He catalogues all the horrors that have happened to Jerusalem, and then in verses 21 - 24 stands on the hope there is in God's faithfullness.
That's where I am. I have witnessed, and continue to witness, the despair and depravation in Kibera, YET I'm standing in faith expecting that God will show mercy and bring healing and hope to the people of this place.
And I'm not standing alone. We now have a small group of pastors joining us today for the first time, all desiring to see God move in power here in Kibera. Today I've got man flu, so I haven't been able to physically join with them, but I'm there in spirit, and it's exciting to know that others are catching the vision.
Next week we will be joining hands together as we continue to break down the strongholds of Satan in Kibera.
I'm glad I'm on the side that's already won!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Getting nervous
Starting to read Lamentations today, as part of my preparations. I've only looked at chapter 1 today, but there are already many similarities between the people living in the ruins of Jerusalem and those living in Kibera. For example, v 11: 'All her people groan as they search for bread; they barter their treasures for food to keep themselves alive.' For many mums in Kibera, you could change treasures for bodies.
Kibera is a place full of every kind of depravity, full of destitute and desperate people, a place of much darkness. I long to see the light of God shining brightly here, and I believe that through God's healing power, His glory will be revealed in Kibera, and the darkness will begin to be pushed back.
I've also been praying about my role in all of this, and am beginning to think it may be to train and equip local pastors in the 'Healing on the Streets' model, and then to release them into this type of ministry. But I'm not sure yet, so will continue to seek God's guidance on this. It could just be that as the time approaches to start something, I'm conveniently finding myself a way out of being on the front line? Although I'd actually enjiy being involved, so I don't know. I'm also not sure if me being a mzungu (white person) will send the wrong message if I'm involved hands on - ie that God works through the whites, and that isn't a message I'd want to be conveying, even by accident.
So, I think the time has come to begin to get a group of pastors together to be a part of this. Pastors who can catch the vision, and who can commit to being a part of it, including the training, and a regular weekly healing ministry time. And once we're trained and equipped, it'll be up to God to turn up in power. And for us to deflect all the glory back to him. Sound simple, but as the time gets nearer, I find I have more voices in my head expressing doubts that what we're thinking of is really of God. So I'm having to just put my shoes of faith on, and walk blindly on, trusting that God is leading me.
But I am a little nervous!
Kibera is a place full of every kind of depravity, full of destitute and desperate people, a place of much darkness. I long to see the light of God shining brightly here, and I believe that through God's healing power, His glory will be revealed in Kibera, and the darkness will begin to be pushed back.
I've also been praying about my role in all of this, and am beginning to think it may be to train and equip local pastors in the 'Healing on the Streets' model, and then to release them into this type of ministry. But I'm not sure yet, so will continue to seek God's guidance on this. It could just be that as the time approaches to start something, I'm conveniently finding myself a way out of being on the front line? Although I'd actually enjiy being involved, so I don't know. I'm also not sure if me being a mzungu (white person) will send the wrong message if I'm involved hands on - ie that God works through the whites, and that isn't a message I'd want to be conveying, even by accident.
So, I think the time has come to begin to get a group of pastors together to be a part of this. Pastors who can catch the vision, and who can commit to being a part of it, including the training, and a regular weekly healing ministry time. And once we're trained and equipped, it'll be up to God to turn up in power. And for us to deflect all the glory back to him. Sound simple, but as the time gets nearer, I find I have more voices in my head expressing doubts that what we're thinking of is really of God. So I'm having to just put my shoes of faith on, and walk blindly on, trusting that God is leading me.
But I am a little nervous!
Monday, November 2, 2009
What's my name?
Today is the first Monday since starting this weekly fast that I haven't really wanted to do it. Doesn't help that I'm tired, and feeling a bit under the weather. And I feel HUNGRY!!!
Nevertheless (good word that) I am choosing to persevere. Today, I've been reading about the account in Genesis of Jacob wrestling with God. Good stuff though I don't think anyone is that clear on what is actually going on. But it's certainly a lesson in perseverance. Jacob refused to let go, even though his hip had been dislocated, until God answered his prayer and blessed him.
It makes me wonder whether I should do an 'all-night' prayer session - though the idea has no appeal, and I wonder how I'd stay awake! I suppose Jzcob couldn't really fall asleep as his all-nighter was very active and physical. Maybe I could no an all-night prayer walk in Kibera, but unfortunately it's too dangerous at night to consider that seriously.
So maybe, for me, the lesson to be learnt here is not about praying all night. Maybe it is about perseverance, about not giving up on a day when I'm not 'feeling' so enthusiastic about fasting, but demonstrating to God that I am serious about this, and that I will persevere, no matter what. Jacob certainly did, and received the blessing of God in return for his persistence.
What will I get in return for mine? My honest desire is to see God's Kungdom come in Kibera. To see the people there set free from the chains that bind them to poverty - and many of those chains are spiritual. So for deliverance, and for healing, and through this to see God glorified through the testimony of His transformational power at work there.
Jacob was blessed by being given the name 'Israel' - Prince with God, or he strives with God, or may God persevere.
If I could choose a name for me, it would be something like 'he sees God's power and love for those who have been forgotten'.
Nevertheless (good word that) I am choosing to persevere. Today, I've been reading about the account in Genesis of Jacob wrestling with God. Good stuff though I don't think anyone is that clear on what is actually going on. But it's certainly a lesson in perseverance. Jacob refused to let go, even though his hip had been dislocated, until God answered his prayer and blessed him.
It makes me wonder whether I should do an 'all-night' prayer session - though the idea has no appeal, and I wonder how I'd stay awake! I suppose Jzcob couldn't really fall asleep as his all-nighter was very active and physical. Maybe I could no an all-night prayer walk in Kibera, but unfortunately it's too dangerous at night to consider that seriously.
So maybe, for me, the lesson to be learnt here is not about praying all night. Maybe it is about perseverance, about not giving up on a day when I'm not 'feeling' so enthusiastic about fasting, but demonstrating to God that I am serious about this, and that I will persevere, no matter what. Jacob certainly did, and received the blessing of God in return for his persistence.
What will I get in return for mine? My honest desire is to see God's Kungdom come in Kibera. To see the people there set free from the chains that bind them to poverty - and many of those chains are spiritual. So for deliverance, and for healing, and through this to see God glorified through the testimony of His transformational power at work there.
Jacob was blessed by being given the name 'Israel' - Prince with God, or he strives with God, or may God persevere.
If I could choose a name for me, it would be something like 'he sees God's power and love for those who have been forgotten'.
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