When, not If

I'm already starting to think about what happens come Christmas, when the time I've committed to fasting comes to an end. Will I continue? Or will the youthful (I wish) enthusiasm I have for fasting have worn off by then, and I'll be happy to return to a life where fasting is absent.

Wouldn't Satan love that?! The trouble is, I know myself too well, and know that may well be what happens. After all, I'm no different really from the millions of other Christians for whom fasting is something they read of and hear about, but that it's not really for them.

And doesn't Satan love that attitude?! Jesus doesn't talk about fasting much, but what he does say begins with the words "when you fast...". It's not "if you fast", but "when you fast". Clearly it's something He expects us, as Christians, to do.

So why don't we? Or why do we wait, as I've done, until a specific point in our life when we feel we need to go that bit deeper spiritually with God to actually follow Jesus' teaching and fast? If fasting really is a way of getting God's attention that we're serious about something, why do we do it so rarely? What would the spiritual landscape of this world look like if more Christians actually did what Jesus expects us to by saying "when"? Why are we so happy with mediocrity, when God wants so much more for us?

How many of us have friends or relatives who don't know Christ, that we'd love to know Him? Why not fast for them? If fasting is what puts an exclamation mark at the end of our prayers, why not do it more? Surely with an exclamation mark a prayer has more chance of being heard and paid attention to? I guess this begs the question, how many of us expect our prayers actually to be answered? How many of us are expecting God to move powerfully in response to our plea? Or are we just praying because we know we should, knowing that God will hear our prayer because it says so in the Bible, but fully expecting to pick the problem back up and shoulder the burden of it ourselves once the "amen" is said.

"Cast your burdens on to Jesus, for He cares for you", easy to sing, but too many times I've sung it, or prayed it about something specific, said thanks God, then picked up that burden again, and carried on my way. But if I want to live as Jesus intends me to live, I need to walk on without picking it up again. I need to turn my back on that burden, knowing that Jesus has it now. The reason I don't is because I don't really expect Jesus to solve my problems. To be with me through them, yes, but not to actually take them away.

But what I am finding through my fasting is that my expectations of Jesus are going up! So I am expecting Him to come in power into Kibera, to heal people, to deliver people, and generally to let the people of Kibera know that they can cast their burdens onto Him, because He does care for them.

And as our housegroup now fasts each week for different issues, I find that my expectations of answers to our prayers go up. I am surprised if God doesn't answer, not when He does.

So, will I continue after Christmas? Will I make fasting a regular part of my life? Will my level of expectation continue, or diminish?

Truth is, I don't know. I know what I'd like the answer to be, but I also know myself! I think I, and many others, often treat Christianity in a selfish way - we're following Jesus for what we can get out of it. And that in itself is not necessarily bad. It's just that we don't realise that the more we put in, the more we will get out.